Redefining the Wheel

Hello folks, and welcome to the first (hopefully) weekly segment of this blog.

The segment in question is inspired by a man named Ambrose Bierce, who wrote a book called The Cynic's Word Book, later retitled The Devil's Dictionary.

In this book Bierce offered tongue-in-cheek, and very cynical definitions of words, ranging from:

History: An account mostly false, of kings mostly fools, and soldiers mostly knaves. To:

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Now, for your reading pleasure, I am going to take a leaf out of Mr. Bierce's book (pardon the pun) and share with you my some of humble continuations of his vitally important work.

Redefining the wheel. First installment.

Pop Music: Whichever of the noises available to us that irritates our parents the most.

Vacuum Cleaner: A marvelous device which removes the dust from the corners of a room, and spreads it judiciously around the whole of the room.

Obvious: Possessing the quality of being completely mysterious to you.

Celery: See Cardboard.

Anchor: A device, the purpose of which is to be thrown over the port side of the ship, at any moment most inconvenient to those on board.

Thank you for reading, hopefully you enjoyed, and if so, check up again next friday, and hopefully I shall have another installment for you.

Cheers.

Captain Background.